MEAGHAN SMITH PERSONAL STYLIST

In the past couple of weeks two of my regular clients have asked me to help them find something “sexy” to wear.

One contacted me saying “Help! I’ve got a wedding to go to and I need to look hot. My ex-husband is going to be there with his new girlfriend” and the other was ready to start embracing her curves, by accentuating her lovely figure and wear something less conservative than she was used to.

The first thing I asked both of them was – When it comes to clothes, what makes you feel sexy?

(One, after some prompting from me knew what it was, and the other had no idea, which meant we had to do lots of sampling of different things til she figured it out).

Everyone has their own idea of what sexy is and what makes you feel that way when you’re wearing it. For some, it’s a pretty soft flowy dress with just a subtle hint of skin, for others it might be a figure hugging and/or revealing (perhaps Kardashianesque) outfit and for others like me, it’s my favourite perfume, pretty lingerie, a great pair of jeans and heels.

(And for some, it’s not important at all…)

Whether it’s “funky”, “edgy”, “trendy”, “cool” or “sexy”, that you’re wanting to achieve, you need to figure out what that word means to you first. Keeping in mind that it’s not just about how you look, but more importantly how you feel. Because when you feel it, you’ll also exude it..

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When a pair of tailored pants pull across the hips and pocket like this…they don’t fit.

Notice the lines being created – because the pants are too tight across the hips – from the top of the zip to the pocket. …and then, as a result,  how the pocket is pulling away from the body.

Because the pants are ill-fitting across the hips it’s drawing attention to the area …..and it looks messy!

I understand for Kim and for those who have similar shapes to her (tiny waist with wider hips and bottom), that finding pants that fit well can be difficult.

My advice is to keep shopping til you find a pair that work for you.  Don’t just settle for “These will have to do”.  I know it can be very frustrating, but you need to be prepared to try lots of different styles til you find a pair that are just right.  In Kim’s case a different fabric or a style without pockets might have worked better for her.

And secondly, consider buying up a size and having them tailored to fit you.  (Or alternatively, have a pair made)  *I’m sure Kim could afford to work with a tailor.

Remember recently I wrote about how a pencil skirt shouldn’t pull across the hips here.   Same thing…

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It’s seems ridiculous to imagine someone thinking they have nothing to wear when their wardrobe is spilling over with clothes.

But to me, because I know and understand why it’s happening, it seems reasonable.

Among several reasons women feel, when they stand in front of their wardrobe full of clothes each day that they have nothing to wear, is because they have too much.

Quite possibly too many choices which make it confusing and too time consuming to go through it and put outfits together or too much mediocre stuff (ill-fitting, outdated, old, not loved) getting in the way of being able to see and use the good stuff.

If your wardrobe feels overwhelming, boring, frustrating or even depressing, consider taking the following action:

1. Ask a friend or family member to help you (honestly) go through it with you.  Make a day of it.  Have some nibbles and champagne and put on some music.  (Remembering that you want the clothes in your wardrobe to reflect your personal style, not someone else’s)

2. Book in for a Wardrobe Overhaul with me.  (You can still make a day of it with nibbles, champagne and music.  Whatever makes you feel comfortable and relaxed and makes the process enjoyable and fun for you.)

3. Work through some of my Weekend Wardrobe Challenge’s

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Have you tried tucking in?

Some people are a little nervous to try it because they think that they’re too old for it, or it won’t suit them, etc, – and that’s fair enough – I understand doing something that’s not what you’re used to can cause uncertainty.   But if you’ve never done it before, challenge yourself to experiment with the look – and decide whether it’s for you or not.  (It’s just like when I get someone to try a style of jeans that are different to what they’ve been wearing.  It can take a little while to get used to how they look on the body)

There’s a few different ways to tuck in, so play around til you find a way that feels comfortable for you.  (For some a full tuck feels too exposed initially, so perhaps try just doing a half tuck and see how that goes)

Keep in mind when you do tuck in, that the bottoms (and in fact even the underwear) you’re wearing are important and will have quite an effect on the look.  (ie where they finish on your tummy, whether they have a zip or not, the fabric, etc) It might work with some of your bottoms and it might not work with others.  *Both pants and skirts.

Like everything, tucking won’t be right for everyone.  It may not feel right, of course you might not even like the look or it may not be a flattering style for you – but you’ll never know if you don’t give it a try. Sometimes what shouldn’t work, does.

*Note – If you prefer to wear your tops un-tucked then make sure the length and the shape of the hem are the most flattering styles for you.

**FYI  You’re not too old for tucking – whatever your age.

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