MEAGHAN SMITH PERSONAL STYLIST

I think back to the days of when I worked in banking and how I dressed to fit in.

I liked to put my own spin on things occasionally, but generally I just wore a similar version to what everyone else in the office was wearing.  As you can imagine, it was a fairly conservative  environment.

Occasionally when anyone attempted to wear something a bit unique or different, there were often “knock down” remarks.  I still remember the day I wore a scarf tied around my neck (to try something new) and I was asked if I had a job interview at lunch time as an air stewardess – which made the whole (male) dealing desk laugh – and made me whip it off before I could even get back to my desk to hide.

Of course there was a dress policy to adhere to, which I can completely understand and always complied with, but looking back I realise there was still room for me to interpret the standards in my own way.  I wish I had made the most of that, explored my personal style earlier and learned to feel confident not being so predictable.  You see when I left the organisation I was quite lost and confused.  My corporate identity and the uniform I’d grown comfortable in, was gone.  I had to re-establish how I wanted to look…and it took quite a while.   It took me some time also, to feel comfortable to be different, yet authentic to who I was and not worry that I wasn’t conforming to how everyone else dressed.

So the question is, is our personal style hindered by the tribe we’re associated with?

For example…

Would you love to wear a chic suit to work, but everyone else wears cargoes, jeans and t-shirts?

Would you like to go to the pub in a dress and heels, but all your friends only ever wear jeans?

Would you like to wear more modern, fashionable pieces, but you think you’d stand out too much among the other school mums?

Would you like to try something different, but feel pressured to fit in and worry too much about what others think?

Dressing according to my personal style and in my own way, does not mean I need to look fabulously eccentric as Iris Apfel does above – quite the contrary.  For me it means being confident enough that I don’t feel I need to wear lots of colors and dresses and patterns.  It means feeling that it’s ok to dress however I want to – whether it’s all black every day for a week, bright red lips,  and faded skinny jeans.   And it means not looking a particular way that others expect or would like me to.

Who knows one of these days I might return to the corporate world and feel the need to want to fit in again.   And it’s ok to do that, if that’s what I want.  There’s absolutely no right or wrong.

Are you interested in asserting your individuality or would you rather play it safe?  When it comes to how you dress, how important is it to you that you fit in?

You can read what styling services I offer here

Follow me on Instagram here

When people first meet me and discover I’m a personal stylist  I think sometimes they’re taken aback a little.

I’m not that impeccably groomed, blow-waved and meticulously manicured person they might assume I will be.  You see I aspire to be imperfect.

Those of you who are born perfectionists, as I am, will know it can be exhausting and stressful.  In a couple of areas of my life overcoming my (Virgo) perfectionism is still a work in progress, but when it comes to how I dress I think I’ve just about nailed it.

I like my hair to look undone (slightly messy even), my nails to be short and neat, and my jeans to look a bit worn in.  Sure I can pull it all together and look very well presented when I need to – I did it for over 20 years when I worked in banking – but these days you’re more likely to see me in my favourite black (sometimes faded) jeans, a Gap t-shirt and a blazer with my hair slightly tousled.  It’s my personal style.

Recently I was reading Nina Garcia’s, The Little Black Book of Style and came across a passage that resonated with me.  It was titled, “How to be imperfect”.

“I call it “The Kate Moss Factor”.   Kate Moss has this tactic down.  She never looks like she is trying too hard.  Something is always a bit off.  Her hair is messy, her accessories don’t match, her shirt is rumpled.  And yet, she always looks amazing.

It’s kind of painful to see girls so pristinely put together all the time.  Those girls that always look like they are ready for a photo shoot do not interest me.  I’m more interested in those girls who are less than perfect (perfection is overrated).  They are the ones whose hair is not flawless, whose outfits are not perfectly matched, who are somehow breaking the rules. Every time I see a girl who has mastered this tactic, I smile in silent worship.  They know how to live, these girls.  They know how to have fun and let their hair down.  They never look too perfect.  These are the girls who know the most about style”

It was during my first trip to Paris when (as Oprah says) I had a light-bulb moment.

Parisian women, well at least the Parisian women who caught my eye, were not over-groomed.   Certainly there were those walking their poodles with coiffured hair and  couture suits, but these were not the ones who inspired me.  It was those who were casually, yet stylishly dressed.  I realised it was all about how you wore the look.  If you stood and walked tall, ensured there was an element of uniqueness and femininity, dressed in clothes that flattered your body shape and did it all with confidence – you could be chic and elegant in a simple jeans and tee combo.

Ines de la Fressange, who masters this look beautifully,  talks more about French imperfectionism in this article here.  Of particular interest to me (as a woman in her 50’s) were her views on grooming.

“It gives you a lot of age if your hair is too done—I am fifty-four, and it makes me look much older. I think it is good to take care of yourself, but it shouldn’t show. I hate, for instance, when women have things on their nails, like a French manicure. I think that sometimes women do too much—they put earrings, and color, and necklace, and the lipstick, and fake eyelashes, and fake hair—it’s a nightmare.”

These are my style influences and this is my style – not my Mums, my sisters, my friends or my clients. Just mine.  Who are your style influences and what’s your style?  Have you spent time working out what your unique personal style is?   Have you defined it?   Understanding your personal style will help when you shop.  Knowing how you want to look and dress will mean that you won’t waste money on clothes that are not complementing your style.   It will make you feel confident and self assured.  By understanding how you want to look and the image you want to achieve you’ll fill your wardrobe with things you love and things that will make you feel confident.  Not understanding your style properly means wearing things that might not feel right and feeling uncomfortable and often self conscious.  No one wants that.

You can read what styling services I offer here

Follow me on Instagram here

Recently I worked with someone who contacted me because she had just moved to Melbourne from rural Queensland and felt as though she needed some help putting together some casual outfits – particularly a few things she could wear to pick up her daughter from school. Her wardrobe largely consisted of shorts, t-shirts and thongs, given the climate and the relaxed style of her previous home town, but she didn’t think her old wardrobe of clothes would cut it now she’d relocated to Melbourne.

It was important to her that her daughter wasn’t embarrassed by how her mum dressed when she waited for her at the school gate and she also wanted to make some new friends with the mums and she knew for her to do so she needed to feel confident and good about herself.

When she emailed me the first sentence she wrote was,

“I hope you can help me.  I need a revamp”

She went on to say she “desperately needed new clothes” because the climate was so different in Melbourne to where she’d come from and that she had attempted to shop for new things, but really had no idea where to start. She’d been living on a farm and was completely out of touch with what was “fashionable”.   She wanted some help putting together what she called, “Melbourne outfits”.

After going through her wardrobe together, we agreed what she needed initially (it was spring when we met) for this area of her life was ….. at least one great pair of jeans (preferably two for variety), one or two pairs of comfy, casual (alternative to jeans) pants, some fresh flattering t-shirts, knits, perhaps a casual dress and/or a skirt, a couple of pairs of comfy yet stylish flats, a casual jacket and some clever accessories to decorate her basics.

I don’t collect a child from school so I don’t see how people dress, but I have been told (in different neighbourhoods) it can feel competitive and intimidating. According to this article in the New York Times mums in New York are feeling the pressure to dress up for school drop-off. Some are dressing up for the school run and then going home and changing into their tracky’s, before changing back into their designer outfits for the pick-up.  And in this article in the UK Daily Mail the writer suggests that for the first day back at school, “around one in six will sport a new hairdo, a similar number have bought a new outfit while others will be showing off a bronzed look”.    

Goodness……I’m sure things are not quite as extreme here as they are in the swanky neighbourhoods of New York and London….are they!!?

It’s so important to remind ourselves that we are good enough, just as we are.  We don’t need to look or be like anyone else.  We are all different, unique and individual.  If you feel great in what you’re wearing and confident knowing that the style and image you’re portraying is you, then that’s all that matters.  Be kind and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

*It turned out, like many things, the unknown and the picture my client had created in her head was a lot different to the reality.

You can read what styling services I offer here

Follow me on Instagram here

Be careful when you’re wearing something to try and disguise/minimise/play down an area, that you’re not in fact accentuating/making larger/playing it up.  (Or alternatively, in the process you’re also hiding one of your best features)

These tops are a good example…

If dressing in a conventionally flattering way is important to you but you’re unsure whether the pieces you’re wearing are doing that, consider booking in for a Wardrobe Overhaul. It’s designed to clean out and analyse the wardrobe but also to educate you on the most flattering proportions, styles and fit for you.

The details of my Wardrobe Overhaul can be found here

Follow me on Instagram here