How Important Is It To You That You Fit In?

I think back to the days of when I worked in banking and how I dressed to fit in.

I liked to put my own spin on things occasionally, but generally I just wore a similar version to what everyone else in the office was wearing.  As you can imagine, it was a fairly conservative  environment.

Occasionally when anyone attempted to wear something a bit unique or different, there were often “knock down” remarks.  I still remember the day I wore a scarf tied around my neck (to try something new) and I was asked if I had a job interview at lunch time as an air stewardess – which made the whole (male) dealing desk laugh – and made me whip it off before I could even get back to my desk to hide.

Of course there was a dress policy to adhere to, which I can completely understand and always complied with, but looking back I realise there was still room for me to interpret the standards in my own way.  I wish I had made the most of that, explored my personal style earlier and learned to feel confident not being so predictable.  You see when I left the organisation I was quite lost and confused.  My corporate identity and the uniform I’d grown comfortable in, was gone.  I had to re-establish how I wanted to look…and it took quite a while.   It took me some time also, to feel comfortable to be different, yet authentic to who I was and not worry that I wasn’t conforming to how everyone else dressed.

So the question is, is our personal style hindered by the tribe we’re associated with?

For example…

Would you love to wear a chic suit to work, but everyone else wears cargoes, jeans and t-shirts?

Would you like to go to the pub in a dress and heels, but all your friends only ever wear jeans?

Would you like to wear more modern, fashionable pieces, but you think you’d stand out too much among the other school mums?

Would you like to try something different, but feel pressured to fit in and worry too much about what others think?

Dressing according to my personal style and in my own way, does not mean I need to look fabulously eccentric as Iris Apfel does above – quite the contrary.  For me it means being confident enough that I don’t feel I need to wear lots of colors and dresses and patterns.  It means feeling that it’s ok to dress however I want to – whether it’s all black every day for a week, bright red lips,  and faded skinny jeans.   And it means not looking a particular way that others expect or would like me to.

Who knows one of these days I might return to the corporate world and feel the need to want to fit in again.   And it’s ok to do that, if that’s what I want.  There’s absolutely no right or wrong.

Are you interested in asserting your individuality or would you rather play it safe?  When it comes to how you dress, how important is it to you that you fit in?

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