When I first started this career, I had a very clear idea of what it was I wanted to do – I just wasn’t sure how to go about doing it or what title to give it. I decided on Personal Stylist after I thought that best described primarily what I do and nobody would find me if I called myself a Shopping Frustration Solver or Women’s Self Esteem Booster.
What I knew for certain was I wanted to help women feel better about themselves. I wanted to help them improve their confidence and self esteem and I knew that I could do it (If I sharpened up my skills and gained more knowledge) through helping them to dress.
Certainly the fashion side of my job is important to me because I’m passionate about it, along with style and beauty – and clothes are the tools with which I use to help people feel good, but realistically what I do isn’t really about fashion and beauty at all, it’s about inspiring, guiding and encouraging women to be and feel the best they can.
I always knew a lot of women struggled with their identity, their bodies and aging – I was one of them, so I recognise the issues – but it wasn’t until I started doing this job, and spending time with different women, I realised just how deeply unhappy some people are with their appearance.
Often, a style consultation is so much more than trying on clothes. Sometimes personal issues are eating away at a person’s confidence and affecting how they see themself and they need to be listened to, understood and then reassured.
Recently I worked with a really lovely lady who I discovered during our time together, saw herself so differently to how she really was. She was in her early fifties a mother of three grown children and she contacted me because she felt “frumpy” and because she felt she “had no style”. She wanted me to take her shopping. So we met and we wandered around, talking all the time about how she saw her current style, how she’d like it to be and how together we might achieve that.
Once we had a clear idea of how she wanted to look we headed into the stores to try some clothes on. I got her to put on a pair of pants she would never have dreamed of trying by herself. She looked amazing. Even another shopper in the change rooms commented on how she looked. She was tall and slim and the pants highlighted her figure beautifully. But she couldn’t see it. All she saw was the faults that she looked for every time she looked in the mirror. When I asked her if she felt she was very self critical her eyes started to well up. She went on to tell me she was constantly given negative feedback by those around her, about her body and how she looked. She was like a little puppy that had been beaten. She was sad. It really affected me that she felt so poorly about herself. For the next hour or so of our time together we just wandered around the stores, chatting. I made her try on several different things to give her a good understanding of what worked for her shape and to encourage her to sample different things, but the emphasis now was on making her understand how special she was and how she needed to tell those who made her feel bad about herself, how their comments were affecting her. I got on the train to come home and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And I realised that this woman was not alone. There are so many of us who live with low self esteem.
So you see a Personal Stylist is what I call myself, but for me, it really is so much more than that. My absolute focus and intention is to show each woman I work with how amazing they are and to help them to get the best out of themselves. Sure I do that with clothes, but I certainly don’t just enter a home, take measurements and tell you what you should be wearing. I listen and try very hard to understand each person’s issues, provide advice, ideas and encouragement. And that’s why I love doing what I do.
You can read what styling services I offer here
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