MEAGHAN SMITH PERSONAL STYLIST

I’ve always been obsessed by fashion.

When I first started working in the city, as soon as my pay hit my account I’d race off to Myer in my lunch break to buy myself something new to wear out on the town on the weekend. I wasn’t from the city, so all the options available were overwhelming and shopping in the Big Smoke, exciting.  When I wasn’t investing in clothes, make-up or skin care, I was spending my hard earned on Cleo’s and Vogues, where I attempted to replicate the looks of Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Back in those days I thought I had the fashion thing and my style sorted out. I thought I knew how I wanted to look and what I was doing when I shopped, but in actual fact I didn’t.

I really had no idea what my Personal Style was.

I was really just following the trends in the magazines, the way my friends dressed, the way they dressed in the bars and nightclubs I went to, the way the women in Collins Street (where I worked) dressed and how the actresses in movies and on TV dressed. I hadn’t really developed my own sense of style.  So for this reason I made lots of very costly shopping mistakes.

It was in my early thirties when, as Oprah would say, I had a light bulb moment and I figured it out.

During this period I was spending a lot of time, particularly going to 30th birthday parties, with two girlfriends who often dressed in Allanah Hill clothes. (Pictured above)  We’d meet up beforehand and they would both be wearing beautiful lace and velvet dresses with brightly colored flowers in their hair – looking sexy and elegant and I would be in my best jeans and top.   To set the scene, both of my girlfriends had gorgeous curvaceous figures. Both had amazing curly hair – one red the other blonde and they would both have their lips painted bright red. I was so envious of how feminine, attractive, sexy and glamourous they looked – when I felt like a skinny, under dressed boy. (I had short hair back then)

In an attempt to try and emulate the looks of my lovely friends, I’d often go into Allanah Hill and try on a heap of dresses, determined to pretty and womanly as my girlfriends did.  But on every occasion I’d stand in front of the mirror feeling like a little girl going off to a six year old birthday party.  Why didn’t I look like my friends did?  Why didn’t these dresses suit me?  Why did I look like a little girl when they looked like gorgeous, sophisticated women.

In the end I bought one of the dresses, even though it never did feel right.  I thought it was beautiful and it was on sale.  It was orange and white gingham chiffon, with ruffles.  I took it home and hung it on my door in my bedroom so that I could just look at it, and there it stayed til I sold it a year later on eBay.  You see even though I loved that dress, it wasn’t my style.  So it never felt right.

I attempted to wear it to the races.  I even bought something to wear in my hair and a pair of shoes to wear with it.  But on the day when I put it on, it felt all wrong, so I took it off – frustrated and annoyed – and put on a trusty classic black dress I’d worn a hundred times.

And this was when I realised it.

Pretty, floaty, floraly, whimsical dresses were not for me.  I could admire them on other people, in magazines and in shop windows, but I should not buy another one again, because I was just wasting my money and I was wasting time shopping in stores that only stocked these kinds of clothes.

I felt relieved.

But if that wasn’t my style, what was?   That’s a whole other story…..

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Janet is 46 and has been divorced for nearly three years.   She works in accounts at Bunnings. When she’s not working she’s being mum to her teenage daughter and son.  Running them around and watching them at sporting commitments, helping them with homework, cooking, washing and cleaning.

Eating healthy has not been a priority since her husband left.  Often now meals are whatever’s quickest so she can get her kids to basketball and soccer training or grabbing a drive-through burger from somewhere on the way home.  Exercising has gone by the wayside.  She’s often too exhausted to even think about it.  After initially losing a lot of weight when her husband first left, in the last three years, Janet has gone from a size 12 to a size 16.  A lot of her wardrobe is too small for her. What does fit is shapeless, unflattering and makes her feel frumpy. None of her clothes represent and highlight how kind, attractive, interesting, vivacious, fun, youthful, etc, she is.

Janet would love to start dating and meet someone but doesn’t feel good about herself and the way she looks at the moment.  She feels that she’s let herself go and has lost her confidence. Despite the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of money to buy new clothes, she wouldn’t know what to buy if she did go shopping. She finds the whole shopping experience painful – her body’s such an odd shape (Wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that description), nothing ever looks good on her and often she ends up buying something  that never gets worn.  (Like she can afford to waste the money) The only chance she gets to see what people are wearing or what’s fashionable is seeing what the other mums wear to basketball or soccer training or what her daughter and her friends wear. And she’s 14.   She doesn’t really know whether any of her clothes are still current or dated. She wears a uniform to work.

Once a month she meets with her book group and from time to time they go to a local bar or hotel.  She often feels daggy and intimidated by some of the other women who always look nice and wishes she could put outfits together like they do.

She’s frustrated and wants to make some changes in her life but has no idea where to start.  She wants to feel good about herself again.

Does this sound familiar to you?  Can you relate to Janet’s story?

Well Janet is really a fictional character but her story is almost identical to many I hear.

Women I meet and talk to are often frustrated with how they look and the idea of making changes is daunting and overwhelming and they don’t really know where to start.

All you need to do is start.

Start small.

• Open a Pinterest account and start pinning images that speak to you.
• Start asking yourself what you like and what you don’t like – whether it’s a song on the radio, the scent of a candle or the style of a dress.  Start getting a good idea of what you do and don’t like.
• Book in for a consultation with a hair stylist or two (without commitment) and get some advice and ideas about what you could do to freshen up your hair. (This is where Pinterest also comes in handy)
• Start following my Facebook and Instagram for ideas and inspiration.  (One of the reasons I post photos of myself on Instagram is to show you how I use my clothes in lots of different ways, to give you ideas to do the same with your clothes)
• Wander through the shops.  Perhaps pick three and go in just to look at what they sell, noticing what shapes and styles are in fashion (according to this store).  If you feel the urge, try some clothes on with the view to just sampling them.
• Buy yourself a new lippy. (Or mascara, or foundation, etc)  Something a bit different to what you’re used to.

And if you feel like this is something you can’t do on your own. If you want support, encouragement and guidance (and perhaps even a gentle push).  If it seems too overwhelming to even make a start, begin by reading through my styling services to see if anything sounds like it might be what you need to get some help and advice.  And, again, if you get the urge email me to book in for a Wardrobe Overhaul or Personal Shopping or to simply arrange a time for us to have a chat. I promise, I will do everything I can to help you.

Take at least one baby step.  A move forward in a positive direction.

But what ever you do, don’t ever give up on yourself.  You deserve to look and feel the very best you can.

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In the photos above Queen Elizabeth has just turned 50.  This is how 50 looked in 1976.   I still remember when my Nan was 50, she looked like this too.

My age and aging have been on my mind quite a bit this week.  It was prompted initially by a blog post I read by Garance Dore, titled, “How Old Are You?” , asking women how they felt about being asked their age  and whether they were happy to reveal the answer.

I’m relatively ok with divulging my age.  I’m proud of the wisdom and knowledge I’ve acquired over the years and I like having been here and seen and done what I have in my 43 years.  Having said that, I do find it easier to write it than say it.  The words don’t easily roll off my lips. I’m not really sure why but it can be a little uncomfortable – depending on who’s asking and for what reason.

Coincidentally, after contemplating the aging topic during the week, I had dinner with a friend who seems to have stopped aging. She is the same age as the Queen is in the above photo.  It’s beyond belief that this is the case.  My friend looks decades younger than Elizabeth does here.  She’s in her fifties, but looks younger than she did when she was forty.  This morning, while applying my second layer of concealer, I thought to myself, How does she do it?   How does she improve with age?   Could we all get better with age?  Could I look younger and more stylish and alluring in my fifties than I do in my forties?  Or is it just genetics and good luck?   After some thought I think the reason my friend looks so good today, in her fifties, is because:

• She eats good, healthy home cooked food..with lots of olive oil (The Mediterannean diet)
• She doesn’t smoke
• She’s always beautifully groomed – nails, hair and brows
• She knows what works for her shape and wears clothes that flatter and accentuate her figure perfectly
• She understands her personal style
• She has a modern hair style
• She keeps fit
• She wears heels
• She looks after her skin
• She’s passionate, energetic, driven, compassionate, kind and caring

I think it’s all of the above and more importantly it’s about her confidence, her maturity and her really knowing and understanding who she is and what works for her.  I also think it’s because she hasn’t just given up and conceded that she’s in her fifties so it’s ok to look frumpy now.  She’s embraced her maturity and she’s getting better with age.

Certainly when Elizabeth turned 50 there were not the same skin care products and procedures that there are available to women now.  No doubt that a lot of the women we admire today for looking youthful have more than likely undergone a lot of treatments.  But it’s more than just the lines on your face that ages you.  It’s a lot to do with how you see and think about yourself and of course how you dress.

 Julianne Moore at 50

I know some of you will look at this and think, that’s all well and good, but she’s probably had some cosmetic “work” and she has a lot of money to spend on making herself look good.  That’s fair enough.  But it’s not just about how taut your skin is or how expensive your dress is.  There are people who have had surgery or injectables and spend a lot of money on clothes who don’t look young or stylish.  It’s really about staying current and modern, dressing to enhance your shape,  embracing and showing off your best assets, being confident and elegant and most of all looking after yourself.

This is Spencer Tracy when he was 50 in 1950.

This is Gorgeous George Clooney at 50 in 2011

Lets face it all of us are going to age. It’s a fact, but it’s up to us as to how we decide to go about it.  We can give up.  Continue to wear frumpy, shapeless, dated fleecy tops and elastic waisted pants.  Not worry about taking good care of ourselves inside and out. Or we can strive to maintain our youth.  Exercise. Eat well.  Be well dressed and groomed.

How do you plan on aging? Well, I hope..

READ: “My Fabulous In Her Fifties Friend Shares Some Secrets To Her Youthfulness” here

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Recently my beautiful 87 year old Nan moved into a nursing home.  Until this time she’d been very independent, insisting she live on her own after my pop died more than 15 years ago.  Sadly, the day came that she could no longer take care of herself and so she needed to move into an aged care facility where she would be cared for around the clock.

When she moved into her new home, Nan wasn’t able to take everything she owned with her,  so she gave her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren a few of her favourite things.  I was given this gorgeous little Oroton bag which I will treasure forever.  My Nan didn’t have a lot of material possessions, but loved her little bags that she collected over the years and I know it meant a lot to her that she could give each of her granddaughters one to keep.

…and what a lovely surprise I got when I opened the bag and discovered one of Nan’s hankies was inside.

I’m determined it won’t remain in the box in the cupboard.  I will use it at every opportunity and I’ll carry it proudly and each time I do I’ll think of my Nan and how thrilled she’d be that I was using it.

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