MEAGHAN SMITH PERSONAL STYLIST

I think back to the days of when I worked in banking and how I dressed to fit in.

I liked to put my own spin on things occasionally, but generally I just wore a similar version to what everyone else in the office was wearing.  As you can imagine, it was a fairly conservative  environment.

Occasionally when anyone attempted to wear something a bit unique or different, there were often “knock down” remarks.  I still remember the day I wore a scarf tied around my neck (to try something new) and I was asked if I had a job interview at lunch time as an air stewardess – which made the whole (male) dealing desk laugh – and made me whip it off before I could even get back to my desk to hide.

Of course there was a dress policy to adhere to, which I can completely understand and always complied with, but looking back I realise there was still room for me to interpret the standards in my own way.  I wish I had made the most of that, explored my personal style earlier and learned to feel confident not being so predictable.  You see when I left the organisation I was quite lost and confused.  My corporate identity and the uniform I’d grown comfortable in, was gone.  I had to re-establish how I wanted to look…and it took quite a while.   It took me some time also, to feel comfortable to be different, yet authentic to who I was and not worry that I wasn’t conforming to how everyone else dressed.

So the question is, is our personal style hindered by the tribe we’re associated with?

For example…

Would you love to wear a chic suit to work, but everyone else wears cargoes, jeans and t-shirts?

Would you like to go to the pub in a dress and heels, but all your friends only ever wear jeans?

Would you like to wear more modern, fashionable pieces, but you think you’d stand out too much among the other school mums?

Would you like to try something different, but feel pressured to fit in and worry too much about what others think?

Dressing according to my personal style and in my own way, does not mean I need to look fabulously eccentric as Iris Apfel does above – quite the contrary.  For me it means being confident enough that I don’t feel I need to wear lots of colors and dresses and patterns.  It means feeling that it’s ok to dress however I want to – whether it’s all black every day for a week, bright red lips,  and faded skinny jeans.   And it means not looking a particular way that others expect or would like me to.

Who knows one of these days I might return to the corporate world and feel the need to want to fit in again.   And it’s ok to do that, if that’s what I want.  There’s absolutely no right or wrong.

Are you interested in asserting your individuality or would you rather play it safe?  When it comes to how you dress, how important is it to you that you fit in?

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When people first meet me and discover I’m a personal stylist  I think sometimes they’re taken aback a little.

I’m not that impeccably groomed, blow-waved and meticulously manicured person they might assume I will be.  You see I aspire to be imperfect.

Those of you who are born perfectionists, as I am, will know it can be exhausting and stressful.  In a couple of areas of my life overcoming my (Virgo) perfectionism is still a work in progress, but when it comes to how I dress I think I’ve just about nailed it.

I like my hair to look undone (slightly messy even), my nails to be short and neat, and my jeans to look a bit worn in.  Sure I can pull it all together and look very well presented when I need to – I did it for over 20 years when I worked in banking – but these days you’re more likely to see me in my favourite black (sometimes faded) jeans, a Gap t-shirt and a blazer with my hair slightly tousled.  It’s my personal style.

Recently I was reading Nina Garcia’s, The Little Black Book of Style and came across a passage that resonated with me.  It was titled, “How to be imperfect”.

“I call it “The Kate Moss Factor”.   Kate Moss has this tactic down.  She never looks like she is trying too hard.  Something is always a bit off.  Her hair is messy, her accessories don’t match, her shirt is rumpled.  And yet, she always looks amazing.

It’s kind of painful to see girls so pristinely put together all the time.  Those girls that always look like they are ready for a photo shoot do not interest me.  I’m more interested in those girls who are less than perfect (perfection is overrated).  They are the ones whose hair is not flawless, whose outfits are not perfectly matched, who are somehow breaking the rules. Every time I see a girl who has mastered this tactic, I smile in silent worship.  They know how to live, these girls.  They know how to have fun and let their hair down.  They never look too perfect.  These are the girls who know the most about style”

It was during my first trip to Paris when (as Oprah says) I had a light-bulb moment.

Parisian women, well at least the Parisian women who caught my eye, were not over-groomed.   Certainly there were those walking their poodles with coiffured hair and  couture suits, but these were not the ones who inspired me.  It was those who were casually, yet stylishly dressed.  I realised it was all about how you wore the look.  If you stood and walked tall, ensured there was an element of uniqueness and femininity, dressed in clothes that flattered your body shape and did it all with confidence – you could be chic and elegant in a simple jeans and tee combo.

Ines de la Fressange, who masters this look beautifully,  talks more about French imperfectionism in this article here.  Of particular interest to me (as a woman in her 50’s) were her views on grooming.

“It gives you a lot of age if your hair is too done—I am fifty-four, and it makes me look much older. I think it is good to take care of yourself, but it shouldn’t show. I hate, for instance, when women have things on their nails, like a French manicure. I think that sometimes women do too much—they put earrings, and color, and necklace, and the lipstick, and fake eyelashes, and fake hair—it’s a nightmare.”

These are my style influences and this is my style – not my Mums, my sisters, my friends or my clients. Just mine.  Who are your style influences and what’s your style?  Have you spent time working out what your unique personal style is?   Have you defined it?   Understanding your personal style will help when you shop.  Knowing how you want to look and dress will mean that you won’t waste money on clothes that are not complementing your style.   It will make you feel confident and self assured.  By understanding how you want to look and the image you want to achieve you’ll fill your wardrobe with things you love and things that will make you feel confident.  Not understanding your style properly means wearing things that might not feel right and feeling uncomfortable and often self conscious.  No one wants that.

You can read what styling services I offer here

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“I don’t like my boobs, I’ve got a flabby stomach and I hate my legs.”

**Bear in mind that updating your look,  doesn’t  mean you need to buy a whole new wardrobe. Sometimes hems can be taken up or down, things can be taken in or worn with a belt. Wearing a sleeve a different way or tucking in can also make a big difference to an overall look.  Don’t be put off starting a style evolution because you think it’s going to be too hard or cost you too much.   It can be done in baby steps – as long as something is being done to move yourself forward towards feeling good about yourself.

You can read what styling services I offer here

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We’re often so nervous that we’re going to do something that will make us look silly, that we do nothing.

We just keep sticking with what’s comfortable and easy, while really wanting to do and try more.

The fear of making a mistake can stop us from trying anything new or moving out of our comfort zone.

Worrying that we might be doing the wrong thing, or worse, making a fool of ourselves, stops us from taking a chance and experimenting with new things.

I often hear clients say, they didn’t wear a particular jacket because they were worried they’d get heckled by their colleagues or they don’t ever wear slim jeans because they didn’t think they’d suit them.  Because they’re so worried about making a fashion blunder, they just stick with what feels safe.  Safe is fine, if you feel great, but if you don’t (maybe you’re bored), be prepared to take some risks.

I encourage everyone I work with to allow themselves to make mistakes.

The key is to recognise that what you tried didn’t feel right, but then to get up the next day and do something different.

Even though I have a very good idea of what I like and what suits me, I still make mistakes. I’m willing to make them.  I want to continue to challenge and push myself and try different things. I don’t want to get bored and stuck in a style rut and occasionally what I try, doesn’t work.

Generally I love every single item in my wardrobe, so when I make a mistake it’s the way I’ve put together the pieces in an outfit.  But in this case, I bought something that wasn’t really my style and as a result wore it and made a mistake.

While mistakes might make us feel not great at the time, they can be a good thing.  Rather than berating ourselves, we can focus on what we learnt and how to improve on it in the future.

Give it a go!    …and even if you don’t get the exact result you want, at least you tried.  You can be proud of that.

“No one is perfect…that’s why pencils have erasers” – Wolfgang Riebe

You can read what styling services I offer here

Follow me on Instagram here